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Well folks, it's official... I'm moving back to Airdrie.
I don't know if it's just Calgary, or big cities in general, but I hate the fucking place. I'd much rather be close to my friends and family in a city where everything's 5 minutes away. I'm sick of the "every man for himself" attitude that Calgary seems to have.
Living with Jen has really made me despise her. She has NO consideration for personal space or belongings. She's constantly "borrowing" things of mine without asking, and the real icing on the cake is when she moved into her new place and "borrowed" my tv and dvd player that I was lending her to her. Meaning, she took it with her when she fucking moved and just assumed it would be okay. It's becoming a lot more transparent that she has no interest in me as a friend, only how much stuff she can weasel out of me. Ugh. It goes way deeper than this, but it's all little trivialities that you'd have to live with her to understand. I just REALLY hate when people you've looked up to, or been friends with for a long time just end up being fucking sleazeballs.
I've always known that I was an anxious social retard, but I always just assumed it was just the way I was. The other day I stumbled upon a description of "avoidant personality disorder" which happened to describe me exactly. It was eerie. I don't really agree with using a disorder or disease as a scapegoat for your problems, but it's nice to know there's other people who can relate to my complete and utter social inadequacy.
Hmm.. what else. Looks like I'll be getting another Sunfire, after the 2 most inconvenient months of my life! Seriously... seriously fuck public transportation up it's stupid ass.
Also, Josh and I are back together *blush*. It took getting my heart and soul crushed to tiny pieces by the people I've met in Calgary to realize how good I really had it. A break just might have been in order.
This week coming up is going to kick ASS. Tuesday, Josh & I are going on a road trip to Edmonton to see Velvet Revolver *EEEEEEE*!!!! Then the next day is a sweet metal show at Macewan Hall, then the following day is my birthday, THEN I get 2 consecutive days off!!! (I haven't had a 2 day weekend in as long as I can remember) Hopefully the week doesn't turn out to me an enormous disaster like all my other pseudo-vacations.
That is all.
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Everyday it becomes a little more apparent that trusting in others and being honest are not good qualities to have.
I guess I'm just naive.
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Aug. 20th, 2007 @ 06:26 pm
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The good:
- I got asked to do an interview for Urbane magazine (a little pull-out in the Calgary Sun)
- I may also be on the cover of said magazine! Keep your eyes peeled, it should be out next week.
- Convention is really soon, and this is the first year I'm actually a "somebody", so I'm pretty excited.
- I finally got a few days off to recuperate from work!
The bad and the ugly:
- Completely totalled my car while out in Lake Louise with Becky & Meggan on Saturday :( No one was injured, thank god, but the car was destroyed and we were stranded out there for awhile. What happened was there were 2 cars ahead of me, the first one looked like it was slowing down to make a turn. I started to adjust my speed, quickly checked the rearview mirror, but when I looked back to the road they had slammed on their brakes and I couldn't stop in time. Some fucking idiot had decided it was a good time to jaywalk across the road. Anyways, the car in the very front (who was a key part in causing the accident) sped off, but I dented up the bumper of the person in front of us, so we exchanged all the info and all that fun stuff. Ugh. Horrible, embarassing, and financially devastating. But maaaaad props to Becky & Meggan, I was in complete shock after we hit and completely clueless as to what I should do. They saved my ass though, Becky called some people and arraged to have us picked up, called the police/tow truck, and Meggan helped with taking down numbers and names when I was too freaked out to have any sense in me. Thanks guyth.
- I still owe my parents about $5500 for the car, which I only had one-way insurance on (for the other guy), and on top of that I need to find a new vehicle.
- Due to said expenses, I can no longer go on my trip to Thailand next summer, so I'm pretty much just going to die of stress.
Oh well... what can you do.Current Mood:  anxious |
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Jul. 11th, 2007 @ 01:48 am
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A schoolboy who taunted a crocodile with sticks and a catapult has been dragged into the water and eaten.
The nine-year-old and three friends sneaked into the crocodile park at the Silver Beach holiday resort at Beihai in the southwestern Guangxi region of China on Friday. The children shot at the animals with catapults and beat them with sticks.
One of the irritated crocodiles bit Liu’s clothes and dragged him into the water where he was eaten by a swarm of crocodiles. His friends then raised the alarm.
Oh, sweet justice. |
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Note to self:
"I have a crush on you" = "Let's have sex and not be emotionally involved"
Cool. I'll make sure to remember that.Current Mood:  disappointed |
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My friends, I have discovered life beyond internet. It's a wonderful thing.
Don't get me wrong, there are nights I wish I could just sit on my ass for hours and surf the internet till my brain goes numb. But I'm telling you, actually getting out and experiencing life has been a blast!
Also, my inspiration is back... I have not had any desire to draw outside of work for the longest time. My 2-year artist block is gone :D!
Yay for life.
May. 6th, 2007 @ 04:41 pm
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To anyone thinking about seeing Grindhouse, do yourself a favour. Leave after Planet Terror. Death Proof was the biggest fucking waste of time I have ever had the misfortune of sitting through. I'm never getting that hour and a half of my life back.
Apr. 10th, 2007 @ 01:18 am
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Dear Calgary drivers:
Signalling is compulsory. It's not a luxury feature, it's not there for when you FEEL like using your signal lights, it's fucking MANDATORY. How else am I supposed to know that you're going to swerve in front of me at high velocity in your god damn 4x4 penis extension? I hope you get what's coming to you, assholes.
Driving in this city makes me so disgruntled.
Apr. 6th, 2007 @ 07:08 pm
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I'm debating cutting off my internet.
What little spare time I have is always wasted sitting on my ass randomly browsing. It's not like I'm doing anything important... an e-mail and general website check only takes 10 minutes. Anything over that is just killing the few brain cells I have left. I could just use willpower, I suppose. Except I'm a weak-willed person. Hmm.
Think of how much more time there would be to draw, and read, and grow as a person! Rather than just getting fat and socially retarded in front of the computer.
Not a bad idea, me thinks...
Apr. 5th, 2007 @ 10:23 pm
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A lot has changed in the past while...
A 4-year relationship has ended (on amicable terms at least). Lots to say about that, but not much I feel like spilling out on a public journal.
Living with Jen has been great, though a lot less eventful than I expected. She goes out as rarely as I do! I've constructed my dream room, which I didn't have the money or the means to put together before. Living in Calgary is also not as exciting as I thought, but it's definately nice only being 5-10 minutes away from work! Speaking of which, work is amazing. My skills are improving every day, and I couldn't ask for better co-workers.
And I'm finally getting a snake. I've wanted a snake for YEARS, but I was never allowed... I think I'm mature enough to handle the responsibility now. I should be getting him/her tomorrow or Tuesday!! eee!
So um... brief update I guess. Maybe I'll take a page from the book of Becky and attempt to write every day.
Mar. 25th, 2007 @ 06:42 pm
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This is a desperate shoutout to anyone with photoshop skillz!
I need a business card made up by tomorrow. I have all the pictures and fonts and stuff, I just have no idea how to put it together.
Someone please help me out! If you live in town, I'll give you either a free tattoo or a good discount in return for your services.
Help :(
Mar. 21st, 2007 @ 06:18 pm
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Victory is mine!!!
After jumping through hoops and being led on by various landlords, I finally found a place to call home in Calgary! Now... it's a pretty old duplex... but all it needs is some TLC and some cool decorating and it'll be sweet!
Wow, that's a HUGE weight off my shoulders.
Feb. 24th, 2007 @ 10:43 am
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So my class only has 7 people in it, and most of them are older ladies. Today was the first day, so it was mostly just introductions and such. I did get to do a couple quick drawings with vine charcoal, though... I don't think I've ever used it because it's so messy. Now that I actually tried it though, I LOVE it! You can fill such big spaces with pretty much no effort, and get a nice loose look (which I have trouble with). So yeah... seems like it's gonna be fun.
One of the only downsides to my job is that even though I'm doing what I love to do, I've made my passion into my work. So it's hard to get out of the headspace of drawing=work. Being in that class environment really shook me out of that, so I'm pumped to get back into my art again.
( Everything you wanted to know about Hilary and lots you didn't )
Jan. 24th, 2007 @ 12:34 am
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Ugh, my car got towed today. I also got a parking ticket on top of that. Then I had to tattoo a lady with rank B.O., who passed out twice and almost puked. Pretty fucking lame evening.
On the plus side, my evening class at ACAD starts tomorrow! Yay for learning!
Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.
Jan. 22nd, 2007 @ 11:30 pm
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| » Look out, it's a flabolanche! |
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I don't know how many times I'm going to have to write this entry before it sticks in my puny little brain... but here goes.
I have an addiction to food and I need to treat it as such. If I were treating hard drugs this way, there would have been an intervention a long time ago! I've slowly but surely gained back all the weight I lost at the gym plus some. It's disgusting and I need to do something about it before my health starts suffering. I have an entire wardrobe waiting for me, the only problem is it's in the size I wore when I was actually in shape. I was hoping that would kick start me, but it hasn't. I'm humiliated by how huge I've become and I'm embarassed to see old friends because of it. It is NOT that hard to wake up an hour earlier to go to the gym, so why the fuck have I let myself get this bad?
Jan. 2nd, 2007 @ 10:20 am
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Ugh, some asshole must've backed into my car, because there's a HUGE nasty gash under the tail light. Grrrrr. I didn't realize until Josh pointed it out the other day, so I don't even know when it happened. It's not like it affects the way my car runs, but fuck, people are such inconsiderate jerks! There's a couple places where the metal actually peeled back a bit... it's not just some little scratch. GRRR!! May karma smite thee, anonymous coward!
Jan. 1st, 2007 @ 01:36 pm
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| » Memoirs of Ryan |
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My dear friend Ryan Coates moved to Vancouver today.
I'm so excited for him, and I'm so glad he got out of Airdrie and he's doing something with his life. He's going to the Vancouver Film School, the land of oppurtunity! Still, it feels as though my heart is going to wither in my chest. I'm not an overly emotional person, but I've found myself fighting back tears on more than one occassion (and outright bawling at one point). He and I didn't exactly grow up together, but we met right in that awkward teenage stage when we didn't quite know who we were. Since then we've gone through a lot together, but have still remained friends. He and Jen were the two people in my life that seemed to understand the world in the same way as me... now both of them, along with most other people I know have moved far, far away from this shithole. They always say that they'll be back, but once you get a taste of what the world has to offer, why the hell would you voluntarily move back here?
So I'm having a bit of an emotional dilemna. I have a dream job with regular clients, I'm even starting to make a name for myself at one of the most respected shops in Calgary. However... just about everyone I once cared about has moved away. They've gone on to live in different cities and make new friends. I couldn't be happier about my career, but... why the FUCK am I still in this redneck, conservative city when I always said I'd be first to leave?!?!? Especially now that it feels so empty and lonely...
Dec. 31st, 2006 @ 12:36 pm
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I ditched the Fas Gas job today. Arg, I feel kinda bad, but you know what? fuck em. Customer service is the biggest load of shit ever. I HATE that people will just treat you as an inferior being as soon as you step behind the register. It's such a difference from my tattooing job, where people come to me and treat me with respect because I'm providing them with a service. Since when did it become acceptable to talk down to customer service workers as if they're retarded monkeys?
Another thing... the other employees at Fas Gas are pretty nice for the most part. The manager however, is a lazy ass high school dropout who seems to believe that the title of manager gives her the priveledge to sit on her ass in the office all day without doing any work. It's her own rule that there has to be 2 people out on till at all times. When I worked with her the other day, she sat in the office while I juggled putting away 2 orders of magazines (more complicated than it sounds), made coffee, and served customers. Ideally, she'd be on till while I did the other shit so it wouldn't take me the entire fucking shift, but she's not that ambitious.
I feel bad for the nice people that have to take my shifts now. The pay just isn't worth the annoyance. I made more in 2 days at the tattoo shop than I did in 2 weeks of shitty boring work at the gas station. Bushido wants me to come in any days I can, so why am I wasting my fuckin time?
Nov. 25th, 2006 @ 01:31 pm
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When life takes a turn for the weird, it can only get weirder from there.
I've been hanging out with people that act like they're 15 for the longest time. I mean, it's fun and all, but one can't help but feel pretty immature. Now I have this complete juxtaposition... I seem to have made friends with a group of people in their thirties! I tattoo these mechanics that have a shop near Finesse, and they asked me to go out to a party with them. That's led to me hanging out with them every weekend somehow. At first it seemed a bit weird... these guys all have wives and kids, something I can't really relate to. But once you get past that barrier, it's been a complete blast! They've all grown into themselves, they know what they like and how to have fun. It doesn't seem to phase them that I'm 15 years younger than them. They're totally excited about all their tattoo ideas, and I'm the provider.
Weird...
Nov. 12th, 2006 @ 10:41 am
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| » Suck me dry |
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It's funny how history repeats itself, and even after learning your lesson the hard way over and over, you still make the same mistakes. I have a tendency of keeping friends that latch on and suck the life out of me. These people only have friends so they have someone to belittle to feel better about themselves. I'm an idiot and reject people who actually care for me, just to spend more time with these leeches. This is the end of another cycle. Hopefully it's not the start of a new one.
Suck and suck.
Suckin up all you can, suckin up all you can suck.
Workin up under my patience like a little tick.
Fat little parasite.
Suck me dry.
My blood is bruised and borrowed. You thieving bastards.
You have turned my blood cold and bitter,
beat my compassion black and blue.
Hope this is what you wanted.
Hope this is what you had in mind.
Cuz this is what you're getting.
I hope you're choking. I hope you choke on this.
Taken all I can, taken all I can, we can take.
Taken all you can, taken all you can fuckin' take
Got nothing left to give to you.
Blood suckin parasitic little tick/blood suckin parasitic little tick
Take what you want and then go.
Hope this is what you wanted.
Hope this is what you had in mind.
Cuz this is what you're getting.
Suck me dry.
Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you had in mind?
Cuz this this is what you're getting.
I hope you choke.
P.S: Baby kitten has gone to a new home where they have the time to raise her, Kitty McGee seems much happier now.
Nov. 10th, 2006 @ 03:17 pm
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